


If it's a Parody no one can sue You

by Talesofwar



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, Humor, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 08:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14516013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talesofwar/pseuds/Talesofwar
Summary: A bunch of oneshots featuring Gintama characters in various scenes of movies/serials/books and animes with its own sweet twist.Suggestions for which things to parody are welcome!





	1. Chapter 1

Mulan - Okikagu

Kagura couldn't believe that the sadistic Captain had told her to leave the camp.

It wasn't her fault that she was falling behind, between the captain's sadistic behaviour and the cross dressing business ( not to mention her completely useless silver permheaded guardian and that 'lucky' cricket wearing glasses ) doing her best wasn't something she gave first priority.

Now the red headed girl stood, clinging on to Sadaharu's leash and watching the Captain's back grow smaller and smaller.

Blinking back stupid tears, Kagura realized that the only way to stay here was to complete one of the Captain's sadistic tasks.

Out of the corner of Kagura's eye, she saw the tall pole that had proved to be unclimable ever since the first day of training.

With a strengthened resolve the redhead took the two weights and thumped towards the pole. 

As she tried to accomplish the seemingly impossible task, the permheaded guardian watched, occasionally digging his nose as he drank a carton of stolen strawberry milk.

Finally, after her sixth failed attempt, he suggested," Why don't you use those weights as a leverage instead of a burden".

Kagura paused for a second, the new found knowledge swirling in her brain.

She looked up, after all the arrow was the goal, now wasn't it?

The redhead began to swing the two weights back and forth until she finally banged it against the wooden pole.

A loud thwack resounded as the pole fell under the girl's impressive heridatory strength, right on top of the Captain's tent ( not at all on purpose ).

Kagura beamed as she ran towards the tent, accidently stepping on a groaning figure below its cloth as she retrieved the arrow.

Due to the loud commotion most of the camp got up too.

Many cheering and hooting for their comrade's feat ( whether it was for retrieving the arrow or stepping on the sadistic Captain who had tormented them for so long, no one will say, at least in front of Okita taichou ).

Okita got up, tearing the tent cloth with his sword and saw the scene before him.

Well, what do you know, that scrawny pretty boy was successful.

The sadist congratualated her by patting her back with a little too much force.

" Good job, but remember when you cut the pole, it shouldn't fall on your Captain but you enemy, like Hijikata san right there", he spoke to Kagura's now fallen down form.

" The hell", the scribe shouted in his mayo print pajamas," Why is everyone acting normally, the purpose was to climb the pole, not destroy it!"

But no one listened to it as soon enough Okita conjured a bazooka and aimed at Hijikata


	2. The Eternal Love - Okikagu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay for those of you who don't know, the Eternal Love is a Chinese drama about a woman who travels back to Ancient China accidently and has to share a body with the soul of a consort there.

It was needless to say that Kagura hated the past.

The clothes were too stuffy, the toilets disgusting, a sadistic loser of a prince for a husband and worst of all....no sunoboku.

Kagura had spent days bemoaning the loss of her favourite snack, she would have probably also been missing her free spirited assassin job but her pachinko loving boss was yet to give pay her last two month's salary.

Kagura was especially annoyed when she was invited ( forced ) to watch the sadist shoot arrows at target boards with Hijikata's face drawn on it.

 

The redhead arrived in a swirl of blue along with her handmaid Otae, the bruenette all smile and charms as she subtly dumped a gorilla's body behind one of those ridiculously large pillars.

Kagura groaned as she saw all the masochistic concubines, internally wishing that she knew what the switch was to get the real consort out. She could really leave all this annoying stuff to her.

Instead Kagura put on an extremely fake smile, one which was just irritating enough to annoy everyone around you. It had taken years of schooling ( courtesy of her brother ).

" Good morning sadist", Kagura greeted sweetly as Otae bowed behind her.

" Ah, China", red eyes sparkled with mirth, " I think you forgot to bow to your husband, the seventh prince".

The redhead scowled, the sadist always managed to push her buttons.

Kagura relented though, when she saw Otae give her a pleading look from the corner of her eye.

The action was too sickening for her though and in the end she puked all over the sadist's clothes as she was in the bowing position.

After a few minutes of panic and Yamazaki running around and Kagura having the most entertainment she's ever had since the arrival to ancient China i.e Quing.

The archery continued a little later albeit with a new shawl and an angrier prince.

All the concubines oohed and aahed at the right time. Kagura yawned.

Urara, one of the consorts noticed this and suggested, " How about we make this more entertaining?"

" How", Kagura said, she really needed a diatraction. Anymore of watching this and Kagura would start playing her version of archery, involving boogers and the target being Sadist's face.

" The consort can hold the stem of a flower and the prince can aim at the petals, it will a true test of love", Urara said, a gleam in her eyes.

Everone was shocked ( save for Otae who had disappeared behind the pillar once again and Sougo, who had just stopped shooting ), the main reason for being so was because a hardcore masochist had suggested such a sadistic thing.

"By giving a test of love are you questioning the bond between the prince and I", Kagura said in rage," Because if you are then I'll give you an answer, it's rotten and ready to break!"

Kagura knew that Sougo was a good archer, twenty minutes of watching him was enough to know.

But from the way he was sadistically smiling at her, she knew he was up to something.

" Don't worry China, my skills are second to none here", he announced smugly, Kagura felt the urge to kick off that smirk.

" It is tr-", a masculine voice behind the pillars started before morphing into screams.

Seeing that she was in a bind and with no boss lady to save her, Kagura said shakily," How about another day, I need to....walk my dog right now ".

" You don't have a dog ", Okita said, his eyes wide in innocence. 

Kagura cursed, Sadaharu used to be her chief subject for excuses. The reasons for hating the past were just piling up.

" Um...there are no flowers here right now, save for the ones in Princess Mitsuba's garden", she said, now confident.

" Here ", Sougo said as he handed her a single pink flower," Hijikata san was going to give this to the princess, basically it dosen't matter if it gets pierced or sprayed with blood".

" You totally indicated that you're going to kill me", Kagura said, her left eye twitching a bit as she went towards the target.

" Relax China", Sougo said, giving her an uncharacteristically gentle smile, not like the one he reserved for her sister or his sadistic one, it was somewhere int the middle.

And so Kagura almost trusted him, almost.

Kagura ducked just a moment before the arrow whizzed past the place her face had been.

" Oops", Okita said innocently,"My hand slipped".

A Hijikata target board plummeted towards Sougo, he managed to block it with his bow at the last second. The prince winced a bit, the gash on his shoulder reopening and a bruise forming on his hand.

" Oops", Kagura said not so innocently,"My hand slipped".

Despite the pain Okita smirked, oh it's on now.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Gintama fic. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> A warning guys, most of the stuff here is going to be Okikagu.
> 
> And seriously give me a few suggestions or else it will take me days to come up with chapters.
> 
> Please give some kudos(es?) and hits.


End file.
